Barely ate today. (+) loss of appetite. And drank a lot of coffee. Barely moved, as well.

I didn't go to school today. It's medicine day. Sort of like a foundation day. I thought it would be a waste of time to go. Well, I didn't really feel like doing anything but to lie down and whack myself. I tried to study. But I couldn't concentrate. I was reading but the words just seemed to wash over me.

It's my mom's birthday tomorrow. My brother was asking her about what she wanted him to buy for her. It's food, basically, but she ended up saying something like it would be better if she didn't come home tomorrow. Words like that make me feel even worse about myself. Like pushing me to the brink of hell and she doesn't even know it. Well at least she'd feel like she had nothing to do with it. That should be nice.

I told her I'd clean the house tomorrow. She was slamming things all over the place when she came home. I can't see why she wouldn't, knowing that I haven't done anything the whole day. Yea, I'd clean the house.

I've got plans ready for execution. Doesn't matter what the consequences are. Even if it's as bad as selling my soul to the underworld. I'll be ready after my finals week so that's 2 weeks from now. I can do this. I've done bad things in my life. This could be the worst but wth, right? If it would put things back to normal and make my family happy, then it shouldn't be the worst.

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new